Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Unoffical MGTOW Commemoration Week
This is it, this is the week, from Christmas Eve to New Years Day, that's when my journey into MGTOW all began. It all started during my last and final LTR.
I had been lurking around an area of the internet of what was then broadly described as the Blogosphere. In particular a compilation of linked blogs and boards dealing with the general topic of why western women and marriage was a bad deal for men, a couple of sites about seduction and also a few on Fathers Rights issues.
Later on this area had been defined as the Manosphere. Breaking it down further, the avoidance of western women and marriage became MGTOW, the art of seduction developed into PUA utilizing Game and Fathers Rights expanded into the Men's Rights Movement.
At the time though I was simply looking for some kind of explanation or solution to the relationship problems I had been running into since my return from an extended period outside the US. It was a good thing I had something to compare my night and day situation to. I couldn't believe the demands they were making after experiencing much hotter, more enthusiastic and overall pleasant to be with foreign women.
I saw the good but couldn't understand the bad and the ugly.
That was in 2004 and what I had obviously discovered was that I wasn't alone in my experiences nor were my problems near as bad as others were but they were all consistent. These men where reporting all the same kinds of bad behaviors I was witnessing. Extreme since of entitlement, no concern for others, completely self absorbed, takes no responsibility for their actions, blames everyone else for their problems, is always the victim, draining of energy to be around and uses sex as a weapon or tool for control. That was only the beginning, any man unfortunate enough to sign the marriage contract afterwards got to experience the entire spectrum of the Family/Divorce court industry with the added bonus of going to jail with the purpose of squeezing every penny out of men the system could get.
The word from these blogs was... DON'T DO IT!!!
Don't get married, don't shack up and whatever you do don't knock them up.
Sounded like a good idea to me but other groups of men weren't happy with those of us who were taking those measures in their personal lives. Oh no, that was letting the system win, we had to do something, we had to advocate for change. The system had to be reformed.
My argument was screw it, walk away from it. Why change a system you could never trust again even if you could change it? Stay out of it and let it collapse on its own.
After getting my comments deleted and being banned enough times from certain Men's Rights Advocates boards I started my own blog as a place to post my comments without having to deal with mods who didn't care for my sentiments.
In December of 2006 my LTR ended with a bang or more like a volcanic eruption. Because of my work I had to cancel out on a trip planned for Christmas. She didn't like that all too well and had a complete melt down over it. It was purely coincidental but later on I had found that the best time to break it off with them if the desired effect was maximum drama is just before Christmas. But that wasn't the intent and at any rate I had had enough of this attitude of complete inflexibility anyway.
Good riddance and the next morning I could feel the weight on me was gone.
I was a free man... again.
As it turned out I didn't have to work after all and because I had already had the excuse of a previous arrangement had dodge attempts to commit me to other engagements. For the first time I could remember I had the whole week to myself. It was golden and I kept wondering why I had never done this before. No endless amounts of driving around, sitting in traffic or sitting at dinners I didn't want to be at listening to conversation I didn't want to hear. Of course there were always the barrage of "why aren't you married yet" questions from the women folk but the men knew why and also knew better than to voice their opinions on the subject.
Secretly they would tell me "I wish I had your life".
Later on in 2007 I had discovered MGTOW and immediately identified with the concept. I completely understood the problems they were having with the MRAs being that it was the entire reason I started my own blog. I certainly wasn't an MRA but didn't know I was MGTOW until then.
What is MGTOW?
MGTOW began as a result of XYZ, a very popular Men's Rights, or MRA, forum being erased 3 separate times from 2000 to 2003. Some of the members were weary of having a resource created, populated with information and links that other people could use, and then having that resource destroyed, over and over and over. This site has now abandoned all MRA content and the links to the MRA content, internal and external, on the current version of the site are all dead.
Several people who were members of the XYZ Forum created a secret forum (one we shall not disclose) and recruited members from other forums to their new, anonymous location. Several of them set up a time for a meeting, and two (Mr. White and Mr. Orange) showed up at bar in 2003.
They sampled many of the fine ales and lagers and created the idea of a decentralized, non-political movement that would support men and their choices in the face of widespread scorn, indifference and hostility. The next day they met at Mr. Orange's hotel suite and fleshed out the idea some more, sketched a logo, and a framework of sorts. Since it began as a decentralized 'organization' it has no leader, no official message board, no website (although many have websites and forums that support it's ideals), there is no 'there, there' to organize, attack, censor, eliminate or shame into submission.
It is everywhere and nowhere.
MGTOW is not a philosophy, or an "-ism", but rather an evolving consciousness and way of looking at the world. Unlike the lockstep and dogma of so many contemporary movements, MGTOW is entirely individualistic, even though many men may arrive at the same conclusions from having observed the same phenomena.
Perfect, no groups to join, no egos to argue with, just make the determination to go your own way and do it.
While there are three main goals of MGTOW I'm only concerned about the first one. Maintaining my masculinity by maintaining my freedom from attaching my self worth to that of female approval. I'm not going to jump through hoops for it and I'm certainly not going sign a one sided marriage contract for it. I'm not going to engage in the relationship power struggles anymore either. In fact if there is any approval or disapproval to be done it will be done by me and if that makes me a loser by society's standards then so be it.
As for the two other goals, they will take care of themselves if men ever learn to live independently of female approval and stop attempting to dominate other men for the sake of gaining it.
Every man supporting this idea is welcome to use the logo in this or similar contexts.
Ok, I will or at least until the idea gets undermined and twisted into something else it wasn't meant to be then I will move on from there.
You will basically be alone doing this. There is no organization supporting you. You just go your own way and do what you believe is right. You are never obligated beyond your own conscience. True masculinity is also about accepting the rights of other men and not letting them down for any short term personal benefits.
IF IT'S NOT RIGHT, GO YOUR OWN WAY!
Take it from me, you'll be happy that you did. Every time this year I remember that first MGTOW Christmas / New Year and how awesome it was. To this day I have no regrets.
So happy MGTOW week, it can be any week or every week of the year of your choosing but this one just happens to be mine.
at 1:26:00 AM